Don't Drive Around With Bumper Guards. They look Bad.



Don't Drive Around With Bumper Guards. They look Bad.


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Do you remember when people put plastic on their sofas so they would last longer? How dumb was that?


Seems like a simple idea. You put the plastic on your expensive new sofa, then you didn't have to worry about spilling anything on it. To me, it was like the Emperor's New Clothes. Nobody wanted to admit that although it protected your prized possession from stains, they looked ridiculous and were completely uncomfortable.

If you think about it. Plastic covered sofas were so ugly and uncomfortable we now look back at them and wonder why anyone would want to sacrifice beauty and comfort every single day for years, just so they could extend the life of that ugly, uncomfortable sofa for a little longer. A little longer? In other words... You're stuck with sitting on that ugly, uncomfortable thing until the plastic eventually wore out? That could take years.

Why then... Do people drive around with those ridiculous Bumper Guards?


Let's think of the facts.

You buy an expensive new car. It's absolutely beautiful. Then, you put that ugly thing on the back bumper and say to yourself. Gee, I'm glad nobody will scratch my bumper, because scratches are ugly. I've got news for you, Sparky. Bumper Guards are uglier than the scratches. At least you can only see the scratches when you are standing right next to it. That ugly thing is visible from half a mile away, and in case you haven't noticed, they look stupid.

Look, I understand you can get lots of scratches on your bumper when you park on a busy city street. Fine, put the bumper guard on when you park, but for goodness sakes, take it off when you drive. Not only does it look bad, but it'll only end up messing up your pretty little bumper as it flaps around at 70 miles per hour.

If you're so concerned about your bumper... why don't you put one on the front too? I'm sure that'll look just as cool.

At least SUV owners put chromed out metal bumper guards on their trucks so they look like they were from the factory. The only problem with them is they have a tendency to scratch other people's bumpers. Oh, well.


, Founder

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